Christmas fuddle food

Every Christmas TH and I have a fuddle at Chez Shelbrooke. It has become as much a hardy feature of Christmas as Disney re-runs. Each year I try to get a little more adventurous with the fodder because the lowly mince pie, fruit cake, pork pie and Branston can only go so far to tantalise the taste buds. In 2012 I pushed the boat out and offered just about every Christmas hors d'oeuvres available from M&S. It became known as my 'food porn Christmas'. However, post fuddle I was left with a load of bite sized food to consume in a mad rush before the onslaught of turkey week.

So, this year I went for the option of 'less is more'. I stuck to the traditional food, didn't go down the bite-sized route, but instead I gave some of the food a bit of Christmas bling. What I ended up with is an über pretty table, that was not only aesthetically pleasing, but cost a damn site cheaper than the year before.

First up for a make over was the cheese board. TH and I lurrrve cheese. I mean we worship it. And the stinkier and runnier it is the more we bow to its malodorous epicarp. But, Christmas is very much about your bog standard cheeses, your Wensleydale, Cheshires, Red Leicesters, and Cheddars. Quite frankly these bore the pants off me. So, I opted for one cheese board of opulent ambrosial delicacies and one of workhorse stalwarts. The odoriferous board needed no titivation; it's aromatic blends, and rotund semblance sang for itself. The peon board, however, looked as tempting as a a plate of tripe; pallid and lackluster in comparison. A little Christmas magic was needed!

So I cut up all the plebeian cheeses into small chunks. I then took one colour and arranged it in two lines on the bottom of the cheese board. I lay two sprigs of rosemary above it. Above that I lay a two-deep line of plum tomatoes. Next, I used a lighter shade of cheese and arranged it in two lines above the tomatoes, but this time coming in on each side by one chunk so that a tiered effect was created. I followed this with more rosemary and plum tomatoes, and alternating colours of cheeses, always remembering to come in a little at the sides to keep the tier. When I got to the top of the board I simply cut a star shape using a knife out of a lump of cheese and placed it at the top of the tier. The result is a cheese board that looks like a Christmas tree! Everyone thought it was brilliant, and it certainly brightened up an otherwise boring food addition to the table.

Patting myself on the back for being so inventive with the cheese, I decided to give some fruit a makeover. Next up for the refashioning were the strawberries. I decided that, given their shape, they were begging to be made into little Santas! I'd looked up a couple of recipes and they all called for either whipped cream from a can, or whipping cream. Lovely, yes, but if you have to sit on a table for several hours in a room full of hot, mulled-
wine fueled people, then I'm quite sure they'd melt and congeal into a hot, pink blancmange all over the table. So, instead I opted for a cream cheese frosting. And, I cheated! I used store bought! Christmas is busy enough without whipping up a frosting from scratch.

To make the Santas I de-leafed the strawberry, inverted it (so it sat on the counter fattest part down), and sliced off it's 'bum' (the pointy end) and put the 'bum' to one side. I then put some cream cheese frosting into a piping bag and piped a good daub (if you don't daub enough your 'hats' won't stay and there won't be enough room for the face) onto the sliced off fat end of the strawberry. Once all strawberries were 'daubed' I replaced the 'bums', which have clearly now become the 'hats'. I then daubed a little frosting on the front of the strawberry to make a 'button' and on top of the hat to make a 'bauble'. Lastly, using tiny chocolate balls meant for cake decoration, and a pair of tweezers, I inserted chocolate 'eyes' into each Santa. Make sure you chill them before serving to ensure they set and don't melt. And voila! Everyone absolutely loved these and they were gone within minutes of me putting them out!

Here is what my table looked like in the full (minus the strawberries, which were still in the fridge chilling), oh, and Merry Christmas from the Mooblings!